Lighter Life: The Saga

Right. You all know by now I started the Lighter Life diet programme a few weeks ago, but that since then I've been having all sorts of problems with their medical team. Well, here's the run down of what's happened;

- The screening form that has to be filled out by my GP only had to the option of 'Major Depressive illness'; as I have depression my GP had to tick it.

- 'Major' Depression is a contra-indicator for the programme so we had to get another form for the GP to sign to say that my depression isn't major; All was ok from there, we got the green light.

- The they said that because I had been sent for an EEG and was awaiting results I would have to wait til the results of that come back to start the programme.

- The results came back normal, we thought they'd be able to give the green light once more. They didn't. They said they needed yet MORE information from my counsellor.

- They spoke to her, and yesterday we were informed via someone else that they were kicking me off the programme, even though I'd tried ringing them several times and left messages asking them to call me personally so I could try and soothe their remaining concerns, BEFORE they made a decision.

So there's the story so far. So obviously, after hearing yesterday that they were kicking me off, I was very upset not to mention a little angry. However, I decided I wasn't giving up that easily; a) they hadn't actually got in touch with us to tell us I'd been kicked off, and b) I wanted to know their reasons for not letting me continue and for not calling me as I had asked.

I rang again this afternoon asking for a call back within the hour, and finally managed to speak to someone just over an hour later. I told her why I'd had to have a EEG, that there was never any real suspicion of epilepsy, that the group therapy counselling sessions would not affect me in any adverse way, to the contrary, and talked for England. To be honest, I think I did really fucking well. One of their concerns had been that they hadn't spoken to me directly, but as I said to them, the only reason for that was that mum had only got in touch with them originally to obtain this other form we needed, and it was only when more problems appeared that she ended up dealing with it because she was their first port of call. The woman I spoke to sounded happy enough with what I told her, and she said she would take the information I had given her, eg more reliable and hopefully good enough for them as it came from the horse's mouth, back to her manager, who would then review the case yet again. Seeing as the reason they kicked me off was apparently because they didn't have an explanation for why I had to have the EEG in the first place, because it had come back normal so they wanted to know why I'd even had one (apart from the fact that my mother had told them what happened) I'm hoping that the info I gave her, eg what DID happen and why I DID have the EEG, will be enough to sate them.

So we're now waiting to hear back from them again. They've said I should have an answer by 6 pm today, but they've said that before. Part of me is hopeful, but the rest of me is telling me that its not the end of the world if they still say no, I handled it eloquently and in an adult manner, and actually the fact I was strong enough and confident enough to talk to them myself is an achievement in itself. If they still say no, I'm going to put it down to bureaucracy and their obligation to cover themselves if anything were to go wrong. I've been exploring other options anyway, so it wont be the end of the world.

H.x

Lighter Life day.

So I had my first weigh in at Lighter Life today and I am pleased to say I have lost 7.7lbs in a week :) I am so pleased with that. I'm obviously now hoping I can keep that up as I'd be losing a stone a fortnight haha. But to be honest I'll be pleased with anything.

Unfortunately though, the road has not been smooth.

Lighter Life originally weren't going to let me do the programme due to the fact I have been depressed, but then after certain forms were filled out they said that was no longer an issue.

Then they said that because I was waiting for the results of an EEG I shouldnt be allowed to do the programme. We then gave them the results, which came back normal, so I dont have epilepsy, so it should have been ok.

However, they are now saying they need 'more information'. What more fucking information can they need? It's making me quite upset and angry to be honest, as I'm now again not allowed to have the food packs. My LL counsellor has however given me the necessary knowledge to stay in Ketosis so I can technically continue losing the weight until they give me the all clear, but its still very frustrating. It just seems as though they're now simply trying to find any reason not to let me do it, but I'm not giving up.

In other news, today I was a human pin cushion; I had my pre-operative appointment today and they needed to take some blood, and unfortunately my veins are notoriously difficult to find, so it took 4 goes to get some blood out of me. Which of course means the crooks of my arms are now very sore and bruised, but its nothing I haven't dealt with before. I'm so used to needles now after all the injections and blood samples I had to have done before I went to Africa a couple of years ago, that they really dont bother me. I'm not keen on watching the needle actually go in, but once its in I love watching the liquids going in or being taken out :) I know, I'm morbid :)

Tomorrow is March 17th, and so my new camera should technically finally be in stock. Dad's going to ring in the morning and if it is I'll be jumping in the car straight away! Here's hoping!

All in all, happy but frustrated.

H.x

Australia wantings - the leather bag.

Ok so I made a list of all the things I want for Oz, and despite all my plans (which I still haven't posted yet) I now can't stop myself from looking into things in more detail as if I have all the money in the world.

Most importantly, the bag. The Saddleback Leather Company's Dark Tobacco Briefcase, to be more precise. There are reviews here and here, and despite the drawbacks, I've fallen in love. Check out the Saddleback Leather Company site to bask in the full leathery glory, but this is the one I've fallen in love with:


The pictures on the first link of the interior show just the kind of thing I'd be using it for.
But yes, the drawbacks are the price and the weight. Part of me thinks that $530/roughly£320, while steep anyway, might actually indeed be a fair price for something of apparent quality and durability, that will last, that I can consider as more of an investment... but then I think of the weight. The size I like weighs 6.5lbs with nothing in it! Can I physically even carry that? And with things in? As I grow up will I become strong enough to carry it?!?
But it's SOOOOOOO gorgeous, and although some of the pockets might not be 100% what I had in mind, they're 90% there. Another option would be to actually buy some thinner, lighter leather and make one myself, but I wouldn't really have a clue what I'm doing.
When it looks THAT gorgeous, can you blame me for wanting one? I could always sell a kidney I suppose...

And as for the travel journal and stationary... As I say, the trip is 6 months away, and I have vastly more important thins to be thinking about between now and then, but did you really think that logic was going to stop me from looking? No, of course not. So I did. The notebook I thought would be perfect, isn't, and I have currently not found the perfect one

I know I'm just being typical stupid impatient me, but hell, I'm excited!!!

H.x

Plans.

So now I have plans.
After 3 hours in a cafe with my mother, I have plans.
I have plans and a more regimented time table, if you will, in which to do things.
I have goals, and aims. Clear ones.
They

First off: Weight.
I need to start losing on average between 5-7lbs every week for the next 20 weeks for me to feel happy and comfortable, to get back down to my happiest weight.
We're going to plan weekly menus that I will stick to, as well as a slow-but-steadily-increasing exercise plan. I'm starting with 10-15mins every day on our cool little stepper machine thing, (not just a step) then working my way to more time on it per day, as well as weekly badminton with the parent again.

Secondly: Money.
Basically I have a fair sized list of things I want to get/take with me to Australia, as you've seen, and in order to do that, I need money. As I said in my last post, I do have some things I can sell; 2 guitars (NOT my baby though, my electro-acoustic), a keyboard, CD's, a huge box of PC software worth £200 upwards from my uncle (long story - not stolen or pirated though, the real deal) and my old camcorder. But I cant rely on selling things as a source of income, so I need a job. Mum and I worked out that, on the basis of my old job (though obviously anything I earn will be dependant on whatever shifts are available in a new job), if I work 3x a 3hr shift a week (could easily do more) for the next 20 weeks, I can earn £900. Which is for me, a starting point, an aim in terms of income.

Thirdly: College.
In the next 6 months I will have to sit 3 exams, 2 of which are resits. I have a lot of revision to do. For English Literature, I have an essay to write, as well as poetry and drama text revision to do for the exam. As I started a lot of that when I was actually at college full time, I have a lot of notes to draw from.
Politics and Drama are a slightly different matter though as I wasnt at college when the work was being done in preparation for the exams. The politics exam though basically require me to read through the text book, and I have a friend who did the AS last year too that I will soon be asking if she has any notes or practice exam questions etc, especially ones she got marked and did well on so I know what I'm supposed to be doing.
The drama exam is going to be slightly more difficult to prepare for, as I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. Again, I will be calling on the assistance of two friends who were in my tutor group to ask them for any notes and exemplar essays they have from last year.
Once I have assembled as much help as possible, the leg work is down to me.

In general, what I need is structure. I need something more regimented to help me get back control of my life, something I've simply not had for the last year. We're planning a weekly menu each week (starting Wednesdays, our 'weigh day') and sticking to it in the form of a laminated sheet on the fridge, and I have a daily plan of activities on another laminate sheet on the fridge too. This all means I have much more structure to my days :)

So yes, this means good news I'm hoping :)

H.x