Holding on.

L left not long ago. I'd texted her before she got here saying we need to talk at some point, but as she wasn't here for very long we didn't really get to do that today. We were texting each other the whole time she was here though as usual, because we're cool like that, and did seem to make some inroads. Things are still tricky though. Part of me isn't fully ok with her still, and I expect part of her feels the same about me. Things feel a little strained, and there's obviously some tension between us as we haven't spoken yet. But the time and the place never seems quite right. More importantly though, and what was nice about her visit, was actually when she left. I walked her to the door, and as she went to leave she turned around and hugged me. Then after we stopped hugging, we said goodbye, stood and looked at each other, and then hugged again. It felt more like we were holding onto each other for dear life. We're both hurting, and both feeling a bit fucked up at the minute. I just hope that we can still hold on to each other, because I don't want to lose her.