Wednesday 15 September 2010

Moving on up?

Right now I feel happy.
Mum and dad just told me that my sister is coming home for 3 months ish in October. Since we left her in Aus, she's been feeling really down apparently. Having not been around when all the shit was going on with me, and when nan died, and then when we were over there and grandad had his heart attack, it really got to her.
So she basically broke down at Uni the other day and her boss basically said, "go home, you need it." She's been feeling like she's been wasting her scholarship because she hasn't been able to concentrate, and the uni have said they'll suspend it for her no problem. As well as that, apparently one of her housemates has now turned into a druggie, so she'd have to move out anyway.
So I get her back again for a while :)
She wont ever admit it, but its for her. She needs the break away to sort her head out. Grandad cant drive his car at the moment anyway, so she'll borrow that, and maybe get a part time job to get some money together.
And I get her back :)

In terms of college, its been... weird.
It feels so weird being back in that place... where I used to have friends and a future I was sure of.
In terms of people... I dunno. Some of the people in some of my classes seem cool, others... well, I can already tell we ain't gonna get along!
The whole 'making friends' malarky is already freaking me out though. On the one hand I feel like I'm better off on my own, but then I know how lonely I've been feeling. But I dont know what to say to anyone!
I've never been brilliant at meeting new people, and I'm even worse now. Doesn't help in some classes cos of where I'm sat... I overhear other peoples conversations and I'm like "I have something in common with you", and I'm stuck on the table where no one's saying anything.
I dunno... I know it's early days... as in, two days. Just gotta give it time right?

So now I've got to make a start on the first bit of coursework... already got a fucking 2 week photography project deadline!!
Starting with research on photographers and exploration of self identity... yay.

Only tricky things are some of the subjects at college actually... first photography project is on self identity; I dont know who I am. First english lit topic is home; I hate being here. And in politics today my lecturer hinted at one of the things we'd be discussing under the criminality and feminism umbrella would be rape and self harm... Just gotta keep my head I guess.

So... off to research and brain storm I go!

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